So, it's looking more officially like Chris will be going to the Middle East for a year and we will be apart again. The part of me that has always rebelled assures me I will be fine even if I don't want to do this. Today, as he left to go do his four day shift at Yosemite I knew I was lying to myself. I mean yes, overall, I will probably be fine, but I will be lonely. We've already done a year apart and it sucked. I don't know what I'd do in Fresno-where Chris is the only one I have to hang out with gone. I'm considering options.

Option A: Follow in the footsteps of Chris and try and get a job overseas for a year. He's going to be making good money, but as long as I can pay COL expenses and my loans it would be okay. Japan would of course be my number once choice-but given that it's almost September I don't see that as being very likely.

Option B: Leave Fresno and move to LA, get a job there, and live with my Mother in Law, three dogs and the other fuzzy one. Not sure how I feel about having to start job hunting again. Especially when I'm doing well in my Fresno job even if it doesn't pay as much as I'd like.

Option C: Go to Asia and work. Not sure how this would work. This is my ideal option. The MIL has said she'll take the dog it's just the other fuzzy I'd have to worry about. I think working in Asia and being bombarded with my own new experiences would probably keep me distracted from the fact that my husband was away for a year in a place that frequently experiences bombings.

Option D: I convince someone to move out to Fresno and live with me while Chris is gone.

The benefit of Chris and I both being overseas for hopefully a year long period that would be almost the same is that when we came back we'd have the financial buffer to chose where in the country we really did want to live and to find a job. I guess the same would hold for Option B when he got back.

I don't know. Chris is getting responses from contractors for his resume, and he's almost done with Paramedic testing (finally). It's hard to know what to do next.

On that front it's a little less then one month until my sister moves out to Los Angeles and half of my family will reside in the broken state of CA where the rights of its citizens are not as important as making sure conservatives are happy. Nope, I'm not bitter at all. If you had asked me many years ago if I thought any of us would be in CA I would have said no. I would like to be elsewhere.

I just finished reading The Girls From Ames which was lent to me by Robin who had heard good things about it. It's written by the co-author of The Last Lecture . It was a good book. It made me reflect on my friendships with other girls and women and how truly sad I am that most of them have not lasted. My longest friendship is with a wonderful woman though, and we're not super close but I'm glad Lindsey and I have stayed in touch. I was very honored to be a part of her wedding last summer. However, other friendships like Abby, high school Caitlin, Ann, Kei and Christine (to some extent) have really not lasted even though I always felt very close to those people. Losing Abby hurt deeply, I wonder if she were to be alive today (I really don't know) what she would think of Chris and what happened. Abby and I always made grand plans for the future involving horse ranches and being little old ladies together. By high school though when I found out Abby was dating on accident (I was so anti boy she was afraid to tell me) I knew her heart wasn't in it. However, Abby never made predictions for my future. Lindsey pretty much had it on the nail "You keep saying you don't like guys, but I bet you end up married first." I miss having girlfriends even though I refuse to believe I'm girlie. They give good advice and I could really use some about now. If you have close friends hug them and thank them for their wisdom.

True Blood made my little fangirl heart very happy last week. Now I think I'm going to stop watching before my favorite character gets killed and my little fangirl heart breaks all over again. Not that I know anything for sure since my favorite character is still causing trouble in the books but TB is going to take a turn soon from the books so that's one risk I think I'll just avoid.
ninj: Miss Jaffacake gets credit for making the icon (Torchwood Snark)
( Jun. 26th, 2003 07:36 pm)
I don't remember things very well. Oh, yeah I remember facts about things I will never need to know, but things that actually seem to be useful go right out the window. This is very frustrating not only to me, but to those close to me as well. I told Caitlin I'd let her borrow the second book in Anne Bishops newest serries Shadows and Light. So she comes to pick me up to go on our pocky run and to go to Noodles and Company and we're sitting there eating lunch talking about white holes and 'mished' and I realize I forgot to give her the book. I also realized upon reflection that I had forgotten my camera which I was supposed to use to take pictures of the pocky run for Melanie who couldn't come. See why memory is a good thing? Then we got back and I gave Caitlin Shadows and Light, the first Inu Yasha manga and the first Planet Ladder manga and started to read Fool's Errand by Robbin Hobb (a very good book). That was when I realized I forgot to buy Melanie pocky...why me?

Oh, and Caitlin bought gum while we were at the pocky store, and it actually tasted like strawberry's not fake strawberry's real strawberry's. Very tasty. I now have pocky, it's an inspiration. Maybe I'll write something original, or finish Abby's X fanfiction that she wanted me to write.
ninj: Yee! Dork Icon (Spike)
( Jun. 25th, 2003 04:19 pm)
Pets are wonderful things, really they are. I love my dog, even though she has made today very hard. I apparently am the only one in my house that likes to sleep in to a decent time in the morning (at least 8:00 preferably 9:00) Haley (who is an Australian Shepard) thinks she needs to get up every time someone else gets up and say good morning. That'd be fine it's fairly easy to open the door to my room so she could go outside, but after saying good morning to whoever got up she comes back to my room. So this happens three times which isn't good for sleep. Needless to say I got up early this morning. Not fun. I like my sleep, really like my sleep.

Today I got to go see Caitlin and meet some of her friends. That was really fun. I like the way they think. Plus Caitlin is one of the people behind the pocky stories. She saved me from myself when I thought things would never end. I love my friends they're all so wonderful. Anyway, we sat around and talked mostly. Thankfully there was no ab workout involved. Well, a little, but not enough to cause serrious pain to anyone. Tomorrow we're going on the pocky run to celebrate the end of the pocky stories. Melanie can't come and that makes me sad, but Caitlin and I are taking pictures for her, and bringing her pocky. Well, I think that's all for now. I'm going to go sleep, provided my dog will let me. I have a headache, which I think is from the heat.

I don't know if I mentioned this but I started writing my last self insertion story, which isn't a pocky story. Everyone who knows about that is very happy. Type in metaphorical pocky on a search engine and look for stories, I think you'll be able to find something. Anyway, it's short so far, and I'm going to try and keep it short. Wish me lots of luck. Oh, and for anyone who follows anime and reads manga it's set in the Dragon Knights universe.


ninj: (Default)


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